Featured song: “Let’s Be Still” by The Head & The Heart
Let’s talk about guts. I absolutely hate talking about insides. Blood. Organs. It makes me squeamish. But yeah, let’s just go for it. Let’s talk about guts.
You know when people say ‘Go with your gut.’ What the HELL. The funny thing is that now I’m coming around. Now I’m starting to really hear people out. It must be a coming of age thing. All of the times people told me to go with my gut, they were 100% right. And that means .. I was 100% right. A lot of the time.
We were all born with a crazy intuition. That means that for a moment, we don’t require conscious reasoning – we base everything on emotion – and we are right. Whoever, whatever put us on this planet was thinking ‘Wow, this human is going to have to fight a lot off. This human is going to interact with a lot of psychologically heavy situations that have nothing to do with HUNGER. Nothing to do with SLEEP. Nothing to do with bare necessities. I am going to grant them with the ability to recognize something is disastrous and to WALK AWAY. But we were also granted with the ability to question that. Damn. It. All.
I didn’t realize when I started a blog that it would all be about things I’m learning – but in my 25th year, I am learning a lot. Actually, lately I am learning a lot. I am here to tell you that when you are feeling alone, and when you want advice, sometimes the best advice is right with you. Sometimes the best advice IS you.
One example out of sixty thousand: Once upon a time (2012), I fell head over heels and over the moon for a guy.
He courted me. He made me feel so special. He was smart. He was funny. In my heart shaped eyes, he was perfect. We spent as many waking hours as we could together. Played music. Ate delicious food. Traveled. Exchanged gratifying intellectual conversation. Sounds great, right? Ah, not so fast.
This was all behind closed doors.
The whole relationship was a secret. (Another story for another post) And right from the beginning, I KNEW, in my heart, in my GUT, that I should walk away. Obviously I didn’t write the book on love and obviously you didn’t either, but you and I both know that when something is (seems) that great, you should shout about it from the rooftops. LOOK WHAT I FOUND! LOOK AT THIS WONDERFUL HUMAN. I guess it’s evident that the whole ‘relationship’ eventually came crashing down and tore me to shreds.
I grew up in a family with one sister and a single Dad. I wouldn’t trade that for the world. But I missed out on the intake of a lot of advice & counsel (exactly one half) – so a lot of paths that I walk down are based entirely on my own judgment. Think back on your life. When you’ve been in a bind, have you gone to an elder and asked them to steer you? 90% of the time, I have had to steer myself. My gut has had to steer me. So why don’t I listen?
You know what I’m going to say before I even say it – I’m learning. I’m learning to give myself the benefit of the doubt. If you fall in love with someone and they fall in love with you and they have no desire to tell anyone that you’re theirs (Never mind, that you even EXIST) – WALK AWAY. If someone wants you to fly to Toronto and be part of what is clearly a pyramid scheme (Another post, dear followers), WALK AWAY. If a man is carrying an exceptionally delicious looking lollipop and leading you to a white van, WALK AWAY.
I guess my point is – have faith in yourself. Reflect on how often you thought something was wrong but still went in that direction. Reflect on how that felt when everything was smashed to smithereens. You are way smarter than you give yourself credit for. I could have spared myself a lot of heartache by listening to that voice inside my head. No matter where you run, you always end up running into yourself. (I stole that from Breakfast at Tiffany’s but it’s one of the best lines I’ve ever heard.) Do not ignore that feeling. Intuition is one of the greatest natural gifts we possess, so PLEASE – let’s put it to good use.
You’re a very bright girl. Maybe you give people too much credit? Most people are dumb and greedy. It’s sure taking me a long time to realize that all i need i have in freewill to choose to finally be the change in the world that I need to see. Lately I’ve been trying to expect less out of others so I guard my heart and won’t get let down with hurt feelings..then I realize that I’m letting them down by doing so and I snap. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts about pyramid schemes. *Alan kippax!
[…] Hindsight is always 20/20. Looking back, I know exactly what I should have done. I should have gotten the hell out of that relationship. (Cause apparently healthy relationships shouldn’t give you panic attacks?) I should have taken my own advice and trusted my gut. […]